Ugh... why do I have a hangover? I dont drink often but damn... I must have gone nuts last night. My head is still ringing.
Someone opens the door to my room. AH!! Its the girl who failed in cosplaying Tifa! You cant cosplay someone with a bombshell body like Tifa when you are as flat as a tar mat. Thats in poor taste. I remember her smacking me silly though...
Tifa Cosplayer: Good. I didnt kill you. I thought my hits made you dumb...er. Who tries to cast Tri-Dark Thundaga with such low mana levels? Do you even have the affinities for such a powerful spell? Such a kid. Trying to use grown up magic. Ha, maybe in 50 years if your lucky. ... Whats with the face kid? You look as if you ate something nasty.
Slate: Can you please change. You dont have the ... "Assets" to pull off such cosplay. Plus who are you?
Flat Lady: YOU LITTLE TWERP! I AM THE GREATEST NINJA AND THIEF OF ALL TIME YUFFIE AND DID YOU CALL ME FLAT AGAIN? WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?! MAYBE YOU NEED ANOTHER SLAP!!
Slate: First, Rikku is the best theif ever. Second, I am Slate. As in a Clean Slate. I am starting over. I can hardly believe im in the world that all Final Fantasy games came from. I guess those dreams wernt dreams after all... Hey "Greatest Ninja of all Time"... where in Zero am I?
Yuffie: Why are you making pinching moves with your hands when you say greatest ninja?
Slate: "No Reason"
Yuffie: You did it again... You are in Altissia in the 15th Realm of Zero. I was asked to wait till you woke up again as punishment for slapping you twice. Ill go get the King and Queen. Get changed... their are some clothes in the drawers by the window. Make yourself presentable.
Yuffie walks out of the room and leaves me alone.
Altissia... wasnt that a city in FF15? The one with water everywhere? I get up off my bed only to realize... my feet dont reach the floor...
Slate: What the hell? Are these beds made for giants?
As I get up to walk to the drawers... I pass a fully opened door and freeze. Who the flying hell is THAT? Ive never seen a Final Fantasy character that looks like that. A kid with Fox ears, white and gold hair with a healthy tan, dark blue eyes with what looks like electricity in them and a white tail ... with a pink ribbon on it?That just looks wrong but oh well... to each their own. I raise my hand to wave only to see the figure copying my movement. I open my mouth and say hi.
???: Thats a mirror you dummie.
DAFUK? Who said that?!
Slate: Who said that? Show yourself!! I know Kung-Fu... kinda
The closet doors slam open and reveal the little Lunafreya from before. Was she just watching me sleep while hiding in my closet? Creepy AF.
Slate: The Lunafreya lookalike! Why are you in my closet... watching me sleep? Who is the kid with the ribbon on his tail?
Ink: MY NAME IS INK FLEURET CAELUM! THE FUTURE QUEEN AND FAVOURITE DAUGHTER TO MOMMA AND FATHER!! The kid with the pretty pink ribbon is YOU. How dont you know your own reflection?
Slate: Wah? No way!
Ink: Yes peasant. You are talking to-
Slate: They changed my race snd age without asking my opinion?! Lets see how I look!
He is ignoring me. He is checking his reflection in the mirror almost like its his first time. How can he be so surprised by his face? Did he get prettier as he slept? ... He must teach me how to get prettier as I sleep. Maybe I can grow a tail too...
Ink: So Slate. I will allow you to teach me how to get prettier and grow a tail on my sleep. You are welcome.
Slate: 🤨 ... What on gods green earth are you smoking? I am handsome not pretty.... how can I teach you to grow a tail? I dont have one.
Ink: Oh yea?
I swiftly use spark on Slates tail. His yell is kinda girly.
Ink: See, you have a tail. ... OH GOD!! I HURT YOUR FLUFFY TAIL!! I AM SO SORRY! CURAGAAAA ugh...
She passed out. Umm lets call for help. But first... RIBBON REMOVED!!
Slate: Ahh much better.
???: Oh? You see my daughter unconscious on the floor for trying to heal you and you say "Much better"?!
My hair stands up on its ends. The foreign appendage that was just released from its ribbon bondage stands up too. I slowly turn around and see the older Noctis in my doorway with his royal arms circling him.
Slate: Uhh... Yo?
Oh come on! Not again!!
I wake up tied and gagged to a chair. I see Yuffie and Noctis looking at me with grins on their faces. I hear someone tie something behind me. I then see Ink walk her father and join him with her arms crossed. A grin grows on her face as she pulls out a mirror that reflects my new tail. It has been restrained by an even pinker ribbon.
A door behind me opens and I hear a few foot steps. One sounds like high heals. Lets play my part as a captive. Right before I let lose the waterworks... My bonds and gag come undone. I get up and look at my saviors... only to see each final fantasy nerds wet dream.
Claire Farron AKA Lightning
The REAL Tifa Lockhart
Cindy Aurum (Cid's Granddaughter)
And Queen Lunafreya Nox Fleuret
I may now die (again) happly.
Lunafreya: Hello once again young Slate. Yuffie told me your name. Before we start, Id like to introduce-
Slate: Lightning, the Savior of Humanity. Tifa, the Wife of Cloud and Cindy, the granddaughter of the legendary Cid. No Introduction needed. I even know Lightning's real name. ... Whats with the looks?
after a short pause everyone said the one word in their mind out load
Slate: I am blessed by the gods. I cant explain without angering all 8 of them at once.
Lunafreya: Then forget we asked. We actually came to give you your identification Materium. It will melt into your palm and record your progress and kills. You will be able to hunt and gather materials easier with one.
Slate: No thank you. I do not want an unfair advantage over normal people. I want to work from the bottom till the apex.
Ink: But tail boy... everyone has one. Even the kids in schools get one for free on their first days. Mr.Cid made it. Mine is Pink. Lookie!
Ink claps her hands and a glowing pink light shines from her palms. She then opens her hands slowly and I can see hunderds of little dots in a pail ball. Only a few are connected with a silver line. She then claps again and the light show vanished.
Lunafreya: Good job honey. As you can see Slate, Identification Materium is used to record your progress. It is nothing more then a map of your skills and a storage for your spoils from battles. It also acts as a wallet. It is a handy tool for keeping yourself in check.
Slate: It has no other purpose then to keep progress and loot storage? No hidden functions like tracking or surveillance?
Lunafreya: That is partly untrue. There are Tracking and Surveillance functions... but only for young children. The only ones able to access such functions are the parents or guardians of the child. You are except these functions due to your status a a summoned champion of the gods. You can always discard the Materium if you choose to...Would you like one?
Slate: Sure then.