Chapter 106 - The Mad Rabbit
In this moment, Xu Baocai and many other outer sect disciples were taking the promotional examination to become Medicine Apprentices while Elder Xu observed from the side. Usually, this was a very serious matter, but in this moment, a flock of birds flew in the sky, making repetitive ‘Pu Pu’ sounds… countless bird droppings suddenly rained down from the sky. Whether it was Xu Baocai, any other promotional examination taker, the surrounding spectators, or even Elder Xu’s hair, they were now all covered by bird droppings…
Everyone was stupefied. Each and every single one of them subconsciously raised their heads. They saw a flock of birds heading into the distance while constantly releasing countless bird droppings on the ground…
“This flock of birds… is somewhat strange…”
“Dammit, what is wrong with them?! They’re actually… actually having an incessant diarrhea!” The disciples exclaimed in surprise. Elder Xu was stunned for a moment before his expression changed.
Chen Zi’ang and Zhao Yiduo were currently on a mountain path, glaring at each other.
“Today, from the two of us here, one is going to be singled out...” Their conflict had started back when they were still handymen and had intensified ever since. Fierceness glimmered in both their eyes, but before they could even finish their words, dust rose from the ground between them as a school of long-legged fish rushed past them.
The two stared blankly as they noticed several cats, incessantly burping as though thunder erupted, while quickly chasing after those fish. This scene caused the two to suck in a deep breath, making them feel as though they were in a dream, and forgot about their enmity while staring with their eyes wide open and their mouths hanging.
“This… did you see those long-legged fish just now?” Zhao Yiduo thought that he was hallucinating and subconsciously asked Chen Zi’ang.
“I even saw cats whose burps were like thunderclaps…” Chen Zi’ang blankly replied.
Meanwhile, many of the outer sect disciples who were halfway up the mountain let out cries of surprise. A colony of rabbits was chomping at the disciples with reddened eyes. Even though they were held back, those rabbits remained ferocious,this was evident from the ghastly sight of them grinding their teeth as they made ‘Gacha Gacha’ sounds.
Furthermore, there was a rabbit who sat on top of several huge chickens and was continuously echoing the same words.
“You know how to speak?”
“Haha, this pill’s not bad. I, Bai Xiaochun, really am a genius! Now even a rabbit knows how to speak!”
The whole Scented Cloud Mountain was swept by madness at this moment… Countless people heard this sentence and immediately understood that the one who caused this scene was Bai Xiaochun!
A couple toads were hopping about in the inner sect disciple region, causing all the inner sect disciples who see them to suck in a deep breath; no matter how one looked at it, all the countless eyes on the toads... were truly terrifying!
And amidst its incessant roars, a nine-headed tiger was rampaging around the sect. On that day, the whole Scented Cloud Mountain was turned upside down. Countless people were shocked after heading out.
There was even a monkey… which had actually climbed onto the rooftop of Li Qinghou’s pavilion, standing on the peak of Scented Cloud Mountain. It sat there, looking at Xu Meixiang who had just left after she had reminisced the past with Li Qinghou. The monkey’s head was lowered onto its chin, seemingly in deep thought...
Li Qinghou had an ashen look on his face as he stood outside the pavilion and raised his head to look at the monkey. He was getting angry, when suddenly, countless bird droppings fell from the skies, rendering him speechless.
It had been quite long since the Scented Cloud Mountain… had been so lively. Out of the countless outer sect disciples and inner sect disciples who were heading out, most undisturbed by all these small animals, bar for the flock of birds that were constantly defecating. The disciples couldn’t fathom just how were those small bodies able to fill themselves with so much bird droppings in such a short period of time…
In the beginning, that rabbit only knew how to say only three sentences, but gradually, the sentences it learned to repeat increased, as did its gestures. In the end, its voice also rose louder as it strained its throat to shout as loud as it could.
“My goodness, what is that?!”
“Did you see that? That rabbit actually spoke!”
“Bai Xiaochun, this must surely be your doing!”
“I’ll tell you a secret, I saw Elder Zhou and his phoenixes in a room yesterday. And from within it, strange sounds echoed out…”
“Senior Sister Zhou Xinqi and Senior Sister Du Lingfei, even if Bai Xiaochun stands in my way, I, Xu Baocai, will definitely get my hands on you two!”
“Senior Brother Hou Yunfei, you’re so bad. Don’t… Ah… What was that?! I just saw a couple monkeys, they were constantly convulsing!”
“Junior Sister Meixiang, it is not that I, Li Qinghou, am fickle and lacking in righteousness. Please wait until my cultivation has broken through the Golden Core. After that, I will definitely take you as my Dao Companion!”
“Haha, this pill’s not bad. I, Bai Xiaochun, really am a genius! Now even a rabbit knows how to speak!” The rabbit continuously ran while repeating these statements all around. Unfortunately, its ears were very sharp, and as long as it heard something new, the rabbit would immediately imitate them perfectly, repeating them all. This rabbit gradually drained colour from many people’s faces. This cursed rabbit had ears that were too sharp, it practically spewed out all of the various secrets between disciples and even mentioned their names!
There were many stories within the rabbit’s words. After they listened carefully to the rabbit, everyone would be astonished, especially Li Qinghou’s part… That was a matter that was unheard of before and caused a sensation among everyone, leaving many Elders with their eyes wide open.
Xu Baocai was stupefied, Hou Yunfei widened his eyes, and Li Qinghou’s body suddenly shuddered.
It was at this moment that Bai Xiaochun finally returned from the market. He returned from a bountiful journey, bringing back even more small animals with anticipation in his eyes. This time, he would finish testing the rest of those odd pills. However, just as he went up the Scented Cloud Mountain, not even a couple steps later, a splash of bird droppings fell from the sky, forcing him to quickly dodge. With furrowed eyebrows, he lifted his head to look up at the sky.
Only to see a flock of birds flying above...
“Eh? They look somewhat familiar…” He was surprised when the bushes beside him suddenly shook. A school of long-legged fish ran past Bai Xiaochun, stunning him. Following after them, the cats with thunderclap-like burps bolted past him, causing Bai Xiaochun to widen his eyes to the point where his eyes looked like they were about to pop out. Not long after… a tribe of monkeys quickly ran past him while constantly convulsing and with white foam flowing from their mouths.
Bai Xiaochun shuddered and took a deep breath. Cold sweat formed as his hair stood on end.
“This… this… impossible!” Breathing raggedly, he took out his Golden Crow Sword and suddenly flew up. The wings on his back flapped, and with a ‘Hu’ sound, he shot towards Scented Cloud Mountain.
Along the way, he could see all of the small animals as well as a lot of people, gazing at him oddly. Bai Xiaochun felt alarmed as he returned to his immortal cave only to realise the huge door was wide-open. The inside was almost completely empty with only a few large geese standing there dully like guards.
“How did they all escape?!” Bai Xiaochun found it inconceivable and perhaps, it even needed investigation. Suddenly turning his head around, he saw a rabbit running quickly while different statements were incessantly spewed out from its mouth, until finally…
“Haha, this medicine pill is not bad. I, Bai Xiaochun, am really amazing. This rabbit even knows how to talk!”
Bai Xiaochun’s eyes widened. When that rabbit noticed Bai Xiaochun, its eyes immediately widened as well, before it turned around and quickly ran away. Bai Xiaochun knew he was going to get into trouble so he quickly shot forward. But just when he was about to catch the rabbit, that rabbit’s speed surprisingly skyrocketed as it instantly shot out of his sight. Bai Xiaochun watched this scene unfold, staring blankly until he heard Li Qinghou’s roar arrive from Scented Cloud Mountain’s peak.
“Bai Xiaochun, clean up your own mess! If there is even one animal that hasn’t been dealt with or if there is even a single hint of bird droppings somewhere, I will send you to the Ten Thousand Snakes Valley! Especially that damned rabbit! Make it shut up!”
After hearing the four words ‘Ten Thousand Snakes Valley’, even though Bai Xiaochun had obtained the top position in the Heaven’s Chosen War and had mastered the Silver Impenetrable Skin, he still shuddered. The traumatic experience from the Ten Thousand Snakes Valley still haunted him. His complexion turned miserable as he subconsciously raised his head; his eyes almost popping out of his sockets once again.
He saw a monkey sitting on the rooftop of the pavilion on the mountain peak, leaning on its chin with a thoughtful look.
Bai Xiaochun wanted to cry; he hurried up towards the mountain peak. With a leap, his body flew straight for the monkey. The monkey glanced at Bai Xiaochun, tilting its head as a trace of sadness appeared in its eyes, as though it had been enjoying its hard-to-come-by freedom. Bai Xiaochun was stunned; he raised his hand and caught the monkey before throwing it inside his storage pouch.
After this, he prudently left in a haste. Tirelessly rushing around the whole Scented Cloud Mountain underneath the countless strange gazes, Bai Xiaochun scowled miserably as he grabbed the nine-headed tiger and the toads with eyes all over their bodies.
Not long after, the elephant-sized chickens, the school of long-legged fish and the burping cats had all been captured by Bai Xiaochun one after another. As for that flock of ducks that was fluttering in the sky, they were the easiest to catch and were promptly captured by Bai Xiaochun in just a couple moments.
The tribe of repeatedly convulsing monkeys was similarly thrown into the storage pouch by Bai Xiaochun. After continuing his search throughout the whole day, Bai Xiaochun caught the constantly defecating birds; that turned out the most difficult of them all as he had only managed to catch them at nightfall. Only while accounting for the small animals afterwards did he realised that he had yet to see the parroting rabbit.
After searching for a long amount of time, Bai Xiaochun agonizingly realised that he couldn’t find where that rabbit was hiding.
“Sigh...” Bai Xiaochun let out a long breath and glanced at all of the bird droppings covering the Scented Cloud Mountain as he grudgingly spent the whole night to completely clean off all of them. When the sun rose, he dragged his weary body back to his immortal cave and collapsed inside it, falling asleep from the exhaustion.
Early in the morning, the Scented Cloud Mountain disciples noticed the gate seemed brand new, making them recall yesterday’s events. They had an extremely profound understanding towards Bai Xiaochun’s medicine pill. Just about everyone had been covered by bird droppings yesterday, but although they were furious from the bottom of their hearts, there was nothing that they could do about it. After all, it was clear to them that Bai Xiaochun hadn’t done it intentionally.
However, it was exactly these recurring unintentional actions of his that caused everyone to wail inside their hearts. As for how fearsome Bai Xiaochun could be, they already had a rough idea about it.
After waking up in the afternoon, Bai Xiaochun dared not continue testing his odd pills anymore. He left through the gate and headed for the wilderness. As soon as he found a safe and deserted place, he opened his storage pouch and released all of the small animals from within.
“You guys are free now…” Bai Xiaochun looked at the small animals as he spoke with a bitter smile.
The small animals that had yet to swallow an odd pill immediately dispersed. The ones that did, however, stared at Bai Xiaochun. Bai Xiaochun looked back at them and took out numerous medicine pills from his storage pouch.
“After eating a medicine pill, perhaps a few of you guys will be able to cultivate yourselves. Don’t stir trouble in the future. You lot have already caused me enough problems.” Bai Xiaochun handed out a medicine pill to each of them. He waved them goodbye and turned around to leave when suddenly, the nine-headed tiger let out a roar.
Bai Xiaochun turned his head. He saw the nine-headed tiger looking at him with a somewhat bizarre light in its eyes, as though it wanted to engrave Bai Xiaochun in its mind. Only then did it turn around and sprint off into the distance in a flash.
The ducks and the birds in mid-air; the fish, the burping cats, the few huge guard-like geese and even the toads with eyes all over their bodies on the ground, as well as the tribe of constantly convulsing monkeys all stared at him with the same bizarre eyes as the nine-headed tiger, before similarly disappearing out of sight...
The last to leave was the monkey who always seemed to be deep in thought. It directed its gaze at Bai Xiaochun, a hint of intelligence flashing though its eyes, giving Bai Xiaochun a grim feeling.
It took a deep look at Bai Xiaochun before turning around and heading off into the distance.
Bai Xiaochun was stunned. Just now, the strong feeling that this monkey looked like a wise old man swept over him. He was certain that he definitely hadn’t imagined that grim look in its eyes.
He silently took out the jade slip and checked his record of the medicine pill that he had first given to that monkey, re-evaluating the spiritual medicine that he had originally written off as a failure.
“That medicine pill… possesses medicinal effects that I have yet to understand!” Bai Xiaochun sunk in thought as he watched the scattering figures. He wished them well, he sincerely hoped that those small animals could happily live with the changes he had brought to them.
A long while later, Bai Xiaochun turned around, and with a flap of of his wings, he hurried back to the Scented Cloud Mountain.
2nd guaranteed chapter of the week.
Translated by: Nat
Edited by: Crimsonguard, Arch, MantouInv
From XianXiaWorld 5 Best Chinese Romance Books of 2018 So Far