"It's fine…" Lin Che withdrew her hand, "It's not too bad, just a little sore. I must have used too much strength…"
"I'm sorry…" Gu Jingze said as he lowered his head and looked at her.
He seemed to have lost all reasoning last night. He only cared about making himself feel better and didn't think about her body.
It was a few times in total and each time was not a short duration. She must have been drained.
Lin Che shook her head, "Nevermind. I don't blame you either."
Gu Jingze said, "Ultimately, you do blame me."
"I really don't blame you," Lin Che replied. "I couldn't watch you kill yourself."
Lin Che recalled how she even took the initiative to offer herself to him last night and quickly tried to explain it, "So… when I said I could help you, it doesn't matter if I had to use myself. You were in such discomfort anyway. What if you couldn't overcome the drug and something bad happened to you? I would be held accountable, wouldn't I?"
By saying that, it showed that she didn't have any other intention besides wanting to help him.
Gu Jingze looked at her, "I understand. I understand where you're coming from, but I can't treat you as my antidote. You're not an antidote; you're not an object. You're a person. I can't do that."
Lin Che froze.
She didn't expect him to think that way.
His respect made her heart feel warm.
This was the real Gu Jingze. He was so nice.
Gu Jingze believed that he managed to keep his most basic promise until the end. Otherwise, he would never be able to forgive himself.
Lin Che's finger glided around aimlessly on the bedsheet. She lowered her head and said, "But… but it doesn't matter. I wasn't really an antidote too."
"You were my antidote. That was my subconscious venting and I can't vent it on your body again."
Although this was something he really wanted to do, he believed that it should only be done under mutual consent and respect from both of them.
It was holy. It was pure. It wasn't a simple kind of venting.
If it was a simple venting that couldn't make the other person happy but made her feel pain instead, then he wouldn't be respecting her.
If it was just to vent, then he wouldn't be any different from a heartless beast.
Lin Che looked at Gu Jingze and once again felt that he was truly someone respectable because he was willing to respect others.
So many men of the same status and class as he would have treated women as trophies. Like collecting stamps, they would play with all kinds of women. They would disrespect women this way.
But despite having such a status, he abided by his most basic principles.
Gu Jingze said, "Come. I'll help you massage your arm."
Gu Jingze held up her hand.
"No… I haven't washed my hand. It's dirty…" she wanted to retract her hand.
But he frowned and pressed on it.
"Don't move. Let me do it," Gu Jingze said as he reached out and started to gently massage her arm.
However, he immediately saw that there were still traces of yesterday on her arm. She was too tired to go wash up after that and went straight to sleep.
Looking at the mottled traces now, Gu Jingze felt like he was on the drug again.
Looking at the traces of him on a girl's tender, white skin, that feeling was the best drug…
Immediately, the desire of a man to conquer was rising up in him.
He quickly looked away and secretly chided himself.
Lin Che also saw and blushed shyly, "It's really… dirty…"
"How is it dirty? Didn't I say before? This is not dirty," he whispered beside her ear. "This belongs to me. What's so dirty…"
Lin Che quickly pushed away his hand, "Okay that's enough. It's not that painful anymore. I'm going to take a shower."
As she spoke, she quickly ran from the bed and into the bathroom. Looking at the color of him on her own body… She was completely speechless at that moment.
Looking at herself in the mirror, she thought this was even crazier.
Countless handprints and bite marks were on her body. It looked like she had just survived a disaster.
Memories of his violent actions and kisses echoed in her brain. Now that she looked at them, she was really… too shameful.
She looked at herself in the mirror and her face was red to the neck.
She was really a lustful woman. She must have been a masochist by nature, which would explain why she could still feel shy by seeing herself like this…
Actually, it didn't really hurt. Those marks looked scary but it might have been because of her own body. Her skin was too fair, so just a little pressure left a mark. Otherwise, it wouldn't have looked this scary too.
On the outside.
Just then, someone came in to inform Gu Jingze that Miss Mo was here and waiting for him outside.
Gu Jingze frowned. He looked at his staff and said, "Tell her to leave. I want to rest today."
But the person said, "Sir, Miss Mo said that if she doesn't see you today, she's not leaving."
Gu Jingze sighed loudly. Seeing as Lin Che was still washing up and he didn't want her to see Mo Huiling loitering at the door, he decided that it would be better to go out and settle things by himself.
So, Gu Jingze nodded in agreement.
When he went out, he saw an anxious-looking Mo Huiling standing at the door. She immediately rushed over.
"Jingze, are you okay… Are you alright now?"
Looking up, she couldn't read Gu Jingze's face. He didn't look weakened either. Instead, he seemed a little off.
Mo Huiling was confused. He should have been controlling himself the whole night since he couldn't touch women. This drug was so strong that it shouldn't have subsided so easily. How did he still look so energetic?
Gu Jingze dodged her hand. Although he didn't want to be so ruthless, he couldn't help but feel hostile.
Mo Huiling froze and bit her lower lip. She knew that she had gone too far with what she did and dared not say much. She sobbed, "I'm sorry. I know I was in the wrong. I didn't know that the drug would be so strong. I really just wanted to be with you. It's my dream to become your woman. Even if it's just for one day, it would have made all those years of waiting worth it. But I'm so unhappy. I kept myself for so many years just to give my first time to you and yet I can't give it to you. I only want to give you the best part of me…"
Indeed, he had let her down. He didn't give her the happiness she deserved. She was his girlfriend for so many years but there was never an intimate moment.
But she was always using and repeating this. It was annoying.
Mo Huiling anxiously said, "Listen to me, will you? I wanted to stay the night and take care of you, but I was afraid of making your illness worse if I touched you. That was why I left, really. You don't know how heartbroken I was when I left…"